'a mile to my feet'

Wowee.. as if like i'm happy ryte now.. =(.. 11.52 pm on a tuesday night.. Just a couple of days me leaving for the states.. and nothing seems to according to plan. What have I've done today well went shopping with my mum, went back home, went shopping with both of my parents, and the rest well just leave it behind for the me to handle. No point of saying it or making it an issue. Stressfull, angry, sad, tired, and having a thinking problem ryte now. I cant talk to anyone or say anything to anyone so better just keep it to myself and write something that can describe what i'm feeling ryte now innit..

I have around 15 people that I have to give support and motivations towards them after this. Hearing them felt angry and sad really makes me feel abit stress and uncomfortable. I dont mind cleaning up the mess even if so in the end I might not get anything.I dont think that they really need any help or motivation cause i've seen these people get back on track with out any 2nd thoughts.. but when a person like me who is responsible and should take actions towards his mates well I have to step in. I dont mind people slutter me, hate me, angry with me or whateva but please dont, and dont ever touch, tease, talk or whateva towards the people that I care. Cause 'kepala bapak korang ah ingat boleh buat apa-apa'... over my dead body.. In my life i've been kick, slap, terajang, kutuk, and every single thing that a human would do to an animal but not that serious yet.. and I dont really care after this. These are the things that keep me on track and make me much more stronger and dont give a damn about people. This is who I am.

The only thing that people dont know is that I've been keeping a double face towards me meaning by a very good actor.. Hey, well its better to do it like this init.. Cause if i only had one face people will run away or make people heart broken and bla bla bla.. Shish.. Taking care of peoples feeling is hard. but when it comes to mine?.. well noone will take care of it.. As always no one knows me, no one cares about me.. hmph.. Come on faisal keep your chin up.. Mr.Probyn use to say that to me.. (Mr.Probyn is my teacher in the u.k)..

I got like 2 weeks I think b4 I say bon voyage.. I dunoo or is it one week more.. Better go and check the calender after this. My mum and dad are off to new zealand. hmph I'm just hoping that they will be back to say goodbye to me.. I really hope that they will send me off at the airport.. So it seems like I got around two weeks or one week to msyelf at home.. hmph.. Well I should be happy that my mum and dad takder kat rumah.. But at the same time I'm off to America so what does that ses?.. sadness+happiness+memories... Maybe i'm going to America just going silently not going to tell anyone.. Or maybe tell a mate or two.. But thinking back for what?.. After all this year I've help someone in return I get nothing from them just pain,pain,pain and an arrow or a bullet went through my heart or my body that really hurts.. Well see how things goes.. To all bloggers I'm writing this is not because that I dont have a proper and social lifestyle.. The main reason is because when some one treat you differently and you've help someone you'll end up being like alone and cant trust no one.. So dont be scared of me cause I can, and YES.. can be a very crazy, lightful person.. I THINK!!!.. back to the story.. well ya.. so to those who is reading this, this is an early good bye.. cause maybe I wont see you again.. I will write about this again next time really soon b4 I take off for US.. but for the time being let me just write something that brings back life and joy to me and hopefully to others..

well gtg.. I'm going to hang out with some of my friends tmrw at o.u.. and gotta go to the hospital for a check up.. damn.. Thats another story that no one knows about.. well byeee...