the last goodbye..

Internet is so darn slow. I cant believe that I cant even download a single song on my limewire. Well cant get everything in this world as people say it. I really dont know whats making me writing or updating my blog at this kind of hour. Let see well Im leaving in a couple of days and Im kind of like prepared. Well physically im prepared but mentally thats the hard part. I have to overcome it so that I can be prepared for anything.

Today well I had the day to myself. Got up early around 5 am. One thing is that I really cant sleep nowdays I just dont know why but I just cant. Insomia as people say it, but I dont think so. Its just that I have so many stuff in my head that sharing it with others wont mean anything. Im stuck. I should get use to it already. Im suppose to be a pro at this kind of stuff. ArgH!!!.. Well today I went to Tourism Malaysia. Yes the place where enjoyment and amazing vacation package that is been offered by the goverment. The reason why I went there is because I needed to get stuff that shows Malaysia, the true symbolic traditional thingy of machigy.. So I got not one but a 100 postcards, 100 bookmarks, and 100 pin that says visit Malaysia 2007. No offence, thanks for the 300 gift but what am I suppose to do with it. Im like suprise that they gave me a bunch of gift. Well i'll find a way to solve this matter.

Around 9.30am I arrived at KL Central. Took a bus to bandar utama, One Utama shopping mall. I arrived kind of early. Today seems to be on time and very early and puntual. HahaHa.. Isn't that me?.. haha perasan.. So I was waiting for Rizwan my friend. Who his Birthday is on the 4th of January. I treat him with some good american meal at TGI Fridays. Spend like aorund 2 hours with him just eating, drinking, talking and alot more. Before that I had to wait for this bugger like 3 hours. Well its not his fault. The plan was we meet at OU around 1 pm. So I was kind of early. HEhe.. So I decided to top up my prepaid and call every single teacher that is in my mobile phone book. I called Pn. Sa'adiah, Pn. Azwin, Pn. Fadhilah and En. Saiful. All of them thank god were in good health and good shape. To hear a teacher voice really means alot to me. Even sometimes I etend to be a rebel towards them HaHa!! but they were the one who gave me believe and strenghness towards me to do something miracle and unexpected. I told them that I got the exchange student program and stuff and they were happy and la la la.. That was basically my last goodbye to them. Kind of sad but hey things come and things go and in this situation I cant do anything about it. I dont know when I'll meet them or hear there voice anymore but I cant promise but I will try to remember them and help them. After I had the last saying of goodbye I was so bloody bored so I just went to GSC and watch Night At The Museum for the 2nd time ALONE!!.. as always.. hmph.. Well sat and watch the movie but later I was getting kind of bored and kind of like abit alone. So 30 minutes after the show I just went back to the exit door and just went to MPH.. Well for me if I'm bored and nothing else to do I just go to MPH bbokstore and find some stuff to read or do.. Huh..

Then rizwan mum came and fetch us. I went to rizwan and in the afternoon do the things that I normally do but nowdays seems to be not anymore which is playing football. I met everyone and ya again said the last goodbye. Night time me with a couple of my friends went to my teacher house for some gathering and eating stuff. Well im so flattered that teacher would gave up couple of her time just to have a simple party. THANKS TEACH!!!.. To tell you the truth I was really not in the mood. I just shut up and just zip my mouth. I dont know why but ya. Im not in the mood of doing anything. After the party again me and my friends went to MMZ. (its a mamak restaurant k). hahah.. I kind of like belanja everyone.. Giving people food or a treat just makes me feel happy. Helping people is my happy do things list. Then came azrul, acap and khairul I belanja them as well and really made me happy seeing them. I just love treating people, I dont know why but I just love it. (that is if i Have alot of money in my pocket la)..

Later on that night around 10.30 I went back to rizwan house. Sat outside and tallk for the last time. Tmrw I'll be like busy with everything. So I decided why dont we just sit outside and have a man 2 man talk. Well We discuss lots of stuff about our life, college, future and girlfriends (hahaha)... But to think about it that will be my last talk with him. Sure maybe after this we will talk but not going to be the same. hmph.. So I said my last goodbye and ya. That was it. Got home like around 11.45.. So today or thursday as i persume I'll be packing and kind of busy.

Theres this part of me that seems to be fading away. I cant hardly speak that I kind of like understand whats going on. Let me ask you something, do you ever had the feeling of doing something bad but it wasn't that bad and makes you feel that was it your fault or wasn't it?. If it was your fault, what would you do? Say sorry to some one. But that just seems dull. Saying sorry is nothing anymore nowdays. If you didn't do it, what would you do to make that person believe in you?. Is it just give in yourself by admitting that it was your fault. I dont know. Sometime you look into yourself and wonder what did I do wrong or what made others hate me. Sometimes you will think that from all the nice things that you've done to a person they will only look at the minor mistake that you've done. Is that fair?. Ya, I know that fairness doesnt mean anything nowdays. But.. hmph.. Well when you put so much trust and believe into someone it will just hurt you no matter what. To fix it back is hard. Its hard for me to trust people nowdays if they end up doing bad things towards me or look at me in a different way. I want to trust people but people make me not to trust them, and when this happen its very hard for to renew or fix the hurt and pain that I have to carry. I gave to many chances, believes, trust to so many people this past few days, month, year and bla bla bla. Should I stop and not to trust people. NO!!. I'll be carefull in the future. Pick the wright friends that you know that they're heart are sincere and honest to you. Pick the friends that they would want to be friends with me because of who I am and not of what I have. Pick the friends that you know that they will have your back and I will have they're back anytime and anywhere. And the most important thing of all is to have friends that they will never break that trust bonding that a group of friends will have. Cause trust is everything. When you have trust, everything will run smoothly..

Well I'm off... I'll update my blog in like 2 weeks time I guest.. Take care, bye..